Erna Kutas

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1. Peter Kutas

   May 12, 2025

   Eulogy for Erna Kutas

   Born 8 June 1939

   Today we gather in love and remembrance of Erna Kutas, a woman whose quiet strength, deep resilience, and unwavering devotion to family left an enduring mark on all who knew her.

   Erna was born on the 8th of June, 1939, in Lithuania, just as the world was entering a dark and uncertain time. As a young child, she and her family were forced to flee their home—caught between the horrors of the Nazi regime and the dangers of Soviet occupation. While the early years were rarely spoken of, we believe their journey began in or near Klaipėda, the port city from which many families like hers fled.

   There was a silence around that chapter of her life—a silence that tells us just how deep those wounds went. But from that silence came strength. Erna arrived in Australia as a child, carrying both the trauma of what was left behind and the hope of a better future.

   She and her younger brother grew up in Shortland, Newcastle, where she attended Shortland Public School and began learning English. It wasn’t easy—but nothing ever was for Mum—and she faced it the way she faced most things in life: quietly, patiently, and with determination.

   As a young adult, she was introduced to Dad through a matchmaker, in the traditional way. It may sound old-fashioned now, but for them, it was the beginning of a strong, lasting partnership. They married and built a life together in Shortland, not far from where she’d first started over as a child.

   Together, they raised three children, and Mum gave everything to her family. She also worked for many years—first at a delicatessen on Maitland Road in Mayfield, and later as a cleaner back at Shortland Public School—the very school where she had once sat as a child learning a new language.

   Mum had a sharp memory and a keen eye. I remember her telling me a story about the time the gypsies came to Mayfield—how all the shopkeepers would be in a panic because some would distract the staff while others stole what they could. She could always tell a story with just enough detail and just enough dry humour to make it stick with you.

   She and Dad were proud of their Lithuanian roots and stayed connected through the local Lithuanian community group, especially through the choir. They sang at many functions, bringing traditional Lithuanian songs to life here in Australia. One of the biggest events was always the Mother’s Day gathering, where the choir performed, and all the mothers were honoured with coffee, tea, and cakes. For Mum, it was more than just a performance—it was a way to preserve culture and honour the strength of the women who held families together.

   And then there are the memories that live with me most vividly—like our big days out in Newcastle City when I was a child. We’d catch the train from Sandgate to Newcastle, and it felt like a grand adventure. Lunch was always special—maybe upstairs at the Coles cafeteria, or fish and chips at the back of the store. On the way back, we’d walk through the Newcastle Arcade so Mum could visit the craft shop and buy supplies for her crochet. Before heading home, we’d stop by the popcorn shop, and then make our way back to the station for the train ride home.

   To me, those days were magical. Looking back, I see them for what they were: quiet acts of love from a mother who gave her time, attention, and care without ever asking for thanks.

   As we say goodbye to Erna today, we remember not only the life she lived, but the love she gave so freely. She was a woman of quiet strength, deep loyalty, and gentle grace—someone who carried the weight of her past with dignity, and built a life full of family, tradition, and care. Her hands were always busy—working, raising children, singing, or crafting something beautiful—but her heart was always open. Though she is no longer with us, her legacy lives on in the values she taught us, the memories we carry, and the love she gave without condition.

   Rest peacefully, Mum. You were deeply loved, and you will be deeply missed.

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