Gardiner, Patricia Anne

PATRICIA GARDINER – A CELEBRATION OF LOVE

Patricia Gardiner – Trish, Pat, Patty, Mumuk or just plain Mum.

HISTORY

Born 7th January 1934 to Minnie May & William James Bremmell.

Lived in Hamilton South attending the Junction Demonstration School, Newcastle Girls High with a short stint at PLC Armidale, before returning home to look after her sick father.

When she was 17 she met a dashing, curly red haired builder named Don Gardiner.

She was married at 19 and then began a love affair & devoted marriage. It was Mum’s special request to have the song you have just heard, and the lyrics printed for you to read. This was their song.

I was born when she was 20 and Brad when she was 21. They moved into their new house in Ocean View Parade, Charlestown and life was busy and happy.

In 1959 Tanya, our special little sister, was born and soon after we moved to “Barrymore” our home on the cliff at Dixon Park. The rest of our childhood was spent here, with Mum having an open house for all the children in the neighbourhood.

In 1963 my brother Grant was born and many heartbreaking months followed.

These were hard times, but Mum always tried to shield and protect her family and friends from how great the heartache was. She had a wonderful husband, children, parents, family and friends, so she wanted them to be happy and not carry her burdens.

TANYA

To know Tanya was to love her and there are many people here today who will

have a little smile and a warm memory just by mentioning her name. Mum and Dad’s devotion to this little girl was exceptional. Mum dressed her in the cutest,most fashionable clothes, and she was always sweet smelling, with her soft black curls shampooed. This special little girl was not to be hidden, she was celebrated

and adored. Mum made sure she experienced everything – swimming, riding horses and bikes, herding cattle and pursued any avenue that may help her development and, after many battles with authorities, she was allowed to attend kindergarten at the Junction School for 3 years.

Tanya’s death following a routine operation, when she was 18 devastated Mum.

Throughout Mum’s life she always had many interests and activities, apart from the business developments with Dad. After Tanya died she shifted her voluntary activities into more formal employment and in 1977 she became the Newcastle and Hunter representative for Dr Barnardos. After 10 years there she resigned and took the position of Newcastle, Hunter Valley and Central Coast Manager for Young Achievement Australia, where she worked for another 10 years. She and Dad enjoyed a couple of wonderful overseas trips, taking the national winners to America for their prize.

Meanwhile she was developing and formalizing her skills as a counsellor for Unifam. She left to work at what was then Women’s Health and Family Care as a counsellor in private practice and stayed there when the business was developed further by her wonderful doctor, Suzane Ryan, and also worked from rooms in Merewether. She continued as a counsellor until her health failed. Only a week before she went into hospital for the final time a new counselling client rang, whom I had to insist she knock back. Mum’s comment was,” but I need new clients and I like that type of counselling.” Such was her spirit. Many of her clients were with her for many years and a lot of them have made the point of identifying themselves to me and have let me know how important and what a support she has been to them. She was a very skilled counsellor. Highlights included being part of the Newcastle Earthquake De-briefing programme – with Professor Trevor Wearing – and being invited to be a member of the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors.

In 1998 she trained as a clinical thermographer and started a Thermal Imaging business. This was sold recently due to her ill health.

MARRIAGE

What a love story. Mum did not just love Dad, she celebrated her love for him, everyday, in every way. Everyone loves a love story and theirs was one of the greatest love stories. I can still recall the feeling of anticipation of Dad’s imminent return from work each day. She would shower, touch up her make-up and be ready for him to walk in. A long kiss would follow and then they would chatter and talk as dinner was organized. After dinner they would snuggle up on the lounge and watch TV, when Dad wasn’t on the phone organizing the next Day’s jobs.

Over the years there were some very hard times between Tanya and Grant and the ups and downs of business life, but there was only ever a huge love and total devotion between Don and Pat Gardiner!!

RELATIONSHIPS

It is hard to know where to start as Mum treasured and loved all her friends and family. In fact she always wanted to develop and strengthen her connections with the people she loved.

Over the last few weeks, many people made a special effort to see her. Many people have had special and intimate conversations with her about things they had shared.

She was open and willing to talk and for her it was what life was about, the connections between people and the special times shared.

Cousins

She was an only child, and really did not like this at all. However when her younger cousins were born she loved them like a big sister and they adored her. These special people, particularly Jackie, Steph, and Margy, Jan, Lyn and Trina have been wonderful friends over the whole of her life. She loved them like sisters.

Dad’s Family

When Mum married Dad she gained a wonderful new family – Neil and Verna, Val and Em and John and Norma. These couples then multiplied and she ended up with 11 nieces and nephews, who then added to the clan with another generation.

This was great!!!

She loved her sisters and brothers in law enormously and they were a very important part of her life. Since Dad died the bonds have remained just as strong  a testimony to the love they shared.

She also built a closeness and love for her nieces and nephews. Every one of them can relate stories of how she has helped them through a difficult patch or been there to help them celebrate and share special times. They have looked to her as a role model and mentor. She is a love story. She will do anything for the people she loves.

Grandchildren

Ben, then Sam, Holly, Chloe and Josie (both in December 1984), then Jackie, Eloise and Loch. When 2 granddaughters arrived in 1984 Mum and Dad celebrated by building a lake house – and decorating it in pink – pink carpet, pink sheets – even pink cutlery. There were many happy times there. Mum’s philosophy was that love never divided it only expanded. The more people in her life, the more love there was to go around. Grandchildren were one of the sweetest things in life.

Vikki and Mum

I’m not sure where to begin.

Growing up we had a happy home with Mum working towards making life great for everyone else. In many ways we were a team from when I was very young. Not many 30 year olds had a 10 year old daughter who is capable and happy to take a lot of responsibility for their special sister. She relied on me and supported me.

When I had my children there could not have been a more adoring or devoted grandmother. She was a fantastic role model offering plenty of practical advice and help, but most of all keeping everything in perspective and just celebrating the loveand joy of each child.

When I became a single parent with 4 small children, Mum and Dad stepped straight up to help. Not only did they help in a practical way by sitting through Holly’s music lessons, or watching Ben and Sam play cricket for hours while I took Chloe to netball, they were there to share and enjoy the experience.

Mum made sure we always had a celebration whether it was for a birthday, Easter,

Mothers or Fathers Day or an anniversary. Christmas at her place was legendary

as she always wanted everyone to be there. Tuesday night dinners at Charlotte Street were a highlight of my children’s week. Here they had a whole toy room, a chocolate drawer, they were listened to, spoilt and then treated to a magnificent baked dinner complete with Sam’s favourite cauliflower cheese, a beautiful table

setting complete with candles, flowers, soft music and a dessert!! She made the occasion a special one, even when it happened every week. Grandchildren are to be celebrated.

Laney coming up for a chat each evening.

Jerry and whichever children were around. How ironic that Showcase

Cinemas closed down the day before their best customer passed on!!!

with her.

Since Dad’s death Mum has battled on and over the last 2 years she has battled cancer bravely. She found it hard without Dad’s devoted love and companionship.

However she developed new interests and gained a lot of pleasure from activities like the Crocquet Club. She still felt a need to give to the community, as she had been doing in so many ways throughout her life. The Homestart programme gaveher the opportunity to be part of Jane Hunt’s family soon after the twins were born. She has also enjoyed time with John Crawford, who has been a lovely friend to her.

Ultimately she was a great romantic; she lived her life for love. She always wanted more love and stronger more meaningful relationships. Hers is a true love story and many people here today, and people overseas and far away, have felt the warmth of her love.

In her final days she only talked about the love she had experienced. She was more than a mother to me; she was also my best friend. I dedicate the next song to her.

BRAD’S Eulogy

Vikki and I thought this appropriate.

Extract from proverbs 31.

·        “She is worth far more than Rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good , not harm , all the days of her life.

·        She sets about her work vigorously , her arms are strong for her tasks.

·        She opens her arms to the poor , and extends her hands to the needy.

·        When it snows, she has no fear for the household ; for all of them are clothed in scarlett.

·        Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

·        She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

·        She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Mum was very proud of Dad 

He built Ocean View Pde soon after they were married … it had a sunken lounge room and a raised double bed…..very modern for those days. 

In Mums eyes that strong young builder….son of Albert…could do anything ….. he set about to please her and make her happy.

What she loved about those days ??….having young toddlers , driving a Packard , walks down to the rainforest near the Creek, having a North facing backyard that held the sun all day…having rabbits  and kittens and puppies and children…. endless children…..her parents visiting… and that big new truck parked in the driveway with DG on the side. 

Dad was her all. 

She loved visiting her cousins at Karuah doing the twist with Lyn and Trina to the sounds of the latest records that Dick had bought for the girls……and she loved Dick,….. her little uncle , with his rough oyster farmer hands and his huge smile…..she’d eat his oysters sitting on the punt all day and he wouldn’t bat an eye….we’d take the launch up the river and find a sandy beach to chase soldier crabs and fish for whiting….her little fair haired boy and her long limbed daughter by her side…… we’d fall asleep on the way home dads strong arms carrying us up to bed…….life was good , they had their problems but they’d learn’t to support each other….they were in love.

Mum loved the front yard at Burnbrae….the big gum providing shade on those hot Merriwa days…….watching the kids climb over and under impossibly tall horses that were as gentle as kittens…..7 kids on at once and Don with the movie camera.